problems in life are bigger than me

Everyone in life experiences problems, it’s a fact. Unexpected bumps in the road or casualties that you saw coming but couldn’t do anything about. You just have to let life happen. When I’m feeling down, angry, sad or uninspired, I think of the things that are causing it, the reasons why I feel this way. I write down a list of problems and see how each one can be fixed, or how I can ease the feeling that I get from it a little. Most of the time they’re little things like maybe I wanted to go somewhere but I felt ill and so stayed in instead, or I ordered something important off the internet and the delivery date was postponed by a week. Little things that can be fixed, nothing permanent, nothing life changing, nothing soul destroying, just small things that maybe put a dampener on my mood – but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.

I feel like every post I make always comes back to this point but it’s something I feel so strongly about that I can’t help but to discuss it. The biggest problem I have, the one thing that always makes its way to the top of my problem list is the way that I feel about myself. Self perception, body image, body confidence, self esteem etc. Whatever you want to call it, it’s always there at the top of my list. The ongoing, never ending and biggest problem in my life. That’s right, biggest problem in my life. I know that if things are important to you, they matter, no matter how small they may seem to everyone else, but as one of the most inspiring ladies I know said: “When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don’t seem to matter very much, do they?” and she’s right. I think about this a lot whenever I’m crying over something that won’t matter in two weeks time or I’m angry over something that can easily be fixed, I simply just look up to the sky and remember how tiny and insignificant I am compared to the rest of the universe which also brings me back to the realisation that my problems are just as insignificant as I am in comparison to this big great world, so I shouldn’t be panicking.

When I realise that the biggest problem in my life is my mindset whenever I look in a mirror, I realise how lucky I am. There are so many worse things in the world, so many more important problems to have, so many bigger things to worry about. I’m not saying that the way I feel isn’t valid, because it is, everything I feel is valid but the feeling eases a little when the realisation hits me that there are people with actual problems a lot bigger than mine. Maybe their parents split up, maybe they just lost their little sister, maybe their house caught fire and burned down, maybe their parents can’t afford to keep paying the rent and now they’re having to move out of their beloved childhood home, maybe their dog just got put down, maybe they got married to the love of their life only to realise they were being cheated on the whole time.  Compared to all of this, the fact that I can say the biggest problem in my life is the way I feel when I look in a mirror makes me pretty damn lucky and I won’t take it for granted.

I don’t really know where I was going with this post, I just wanted to write something as a little reminder to myself whenever I’m panicking over something small – everything is temporary, even this life we’re living. Nothing is promised, people promise forever but they can’t even do that, it’s a promise they’re breaking as soon as the words are tumbling from their lips. So this is a reminder to just enjoy life as it comes and remember that in a sea of stars, you are still only as big as the next.

All my love,

Chloe .xx

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