not so deep (chatty)

creative changes

Hi loves,

Creativity has been whirling around my head lately and like I said in my 1 year blogiversary post, I wanted to make this blog a creative space and somewhere people can come to talk and feel inspired. I just wanna spread the magic, okay?


Instead of looking at Midnight Wanderer as a blog, I’m going to look at it as more of a creative project – a creative space. Somewhere I can post pictures and write these messy thoughts and ramblings and explore a lot more things – I want to have discussions, talk about feminism, sexuality, growing, changing, experimenting, I want to hear your story. I want to collaborate and work with you guys but in a way that lets me know more about you and benefits not only you, but everyone else reading it too. I have so much creative energy inside me that I never really know what to do with but I know I could be doing a lot more, it’s just about trying to find a way to do that.

I have a lot of random, rambling, messy thoughts that I either don’t post on here and if I do, I tidy them up so that eventually I’m able to turn them into a coherent blog post that makes some kind of sense. I’m going to try and change that a little now, and by that I mean that all of these messy thoughts I have, I write in my journal, so I’m probably just going to scan those journal pages and upload them onto here instead rather than just missing them out completely or trying to turn them into something coherent, because then it’s not raw, right? It’s not as real as it was when I first wrote it.

Pressed flowers, polaroids, crystals, handwritten notes, art, colour and light. I want to include all of it here, like I mentioned before in this post, I feel like I’ve lost my authenticity a bit by now doing everything electronically. Before I had this blog, I would press flowers and take polaroids and write everything in my journal, some of the best things I’ve ever written came from sitting at my desk at 3am pouring out my thoughts onto the page until I thought my arm was going to fall off. I used to take photographs in a way that made me feel nostalgic – I’d edit them to create a certain feeling and I don’t do that anymore. Since I created this blog and transferred everything over into blog posts, I haven’t really written anything good in my journal since – I still write, of course, but it’s never as raw, because now when I have these thoughts I type them all into a new WordPress document instead, rather than reaching for my journal and it’s lost the magic that it once had. I’ve lost the magic that I once had. Now, my journal just feels like a diary, I don’t write in it the same way that I used to and I hate it and I need to change it. I want to be as creative as I can here and make this a creative space for not only me, but all of you that follow and read it too.

I need to express myself more because right now I know I’m not fulfilling everything that I can be – I don’t take photographs anymore, I don’t press flowers or journal properly anymore and I need to do it! I need to go back to the things that made me create this blog in the first place – I wanted to share all of these things and instead, I feel like I’ve shared them and then drifted away from them. I feel like I used to live in this nostalgic, hazy dreamworld and then I crashed back down to Earth and now I’m stuck in the grey looms of reality – somewhere I never want to be.

Instagram is a big one for me – I want to use it to share my photos and a couple of years ago I did, but then I got too self conscious and closed in on myself and now I never use it to post my own things, only to look at others. I don’t want to create a new account because I already like the one I have but people I know in real life follow me on there and I know that unfollowing them would cause so much drama that I really don’t want and so instead, I just sit there and don’t post anything at all – I want to talk about my blog on there and share my personal thoughts but instead I don’t and it really bugs me, because I want to so badly. What do you think about that? Should I bite the bullet and just unfollow these people? I have nothing against them, I just don’t like people I know seeing my personal space, as it were – I want to feel free to express myself without judgement or worrying about whispers behind my back, you know?

I will probably do a journal tour, I will probably share some drawings that I’ve done and hopefully I can share polaroids etc. with you all too. Like I said, I don’t want this blog to be a place where people come to read about what I got for my birthday, I want it to be a place people can come to express and explore themselves, get creative inspiration and realise that there’s so much love and magic in the world and it’s all available to you – you just have to see it.

I hope this made sense, if you have anything you’d like to add or any ideas / suggestions then please let me know.

My contact info is always available on the contact me page but if you have any collaboration ideas etc. feel free to drop me an email, I love hearing from you guys♡

All my love,

(A very confused) Chloe .xx

34 thoughts on “creative changes

  1. YES. This is exactly how I have been feeling lately. I don’t want to write basic blog stuff that everyone else always writes about. I want everything to be straight from the heart, to be messy and just be my mind spread all over it. I know I posted recently on it, but it just got to a point where I felt I was forcing out blog posts and I didn’t want to do that, for me, that’s just not what it’s about.

    I cannot wait to see these posts from you, they’re my absolute favourite kind. Also, post whatever you like on Instagram, or unfollow whoever you like! Do not let their thoughts or opinions dictate your decisions xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure!! I want to do what I myself want to do rather than basing everything off what I think I should be doing instead – this is my blog, my space and there are no right or wrong answers, I’m just here to express myself in the freest, most creative way possible! Thank you so much lovely xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s going to be a bit of trial-and-error where you will experiment and find out what does and does not work for you. I, for one, look forward to whatever you post next. Good luck! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. KEEN!! I cannot wait for all of this to take place, I already enjoy your blog so much, it’ll only get better gal. Can’t wait for some journal and diary entries as well – I used to journal on a daily basis and I probably still could considering how topical my blog is, but I just don’t do it as often as I should which is such a shame xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Omggggg I also was thinking about that sometimes. I also have some journals with poems I wrote and thoughts and polaroids. We are so the same girl 😍❤ I love pressed flowers. My grandmother did that also. It looks so beautiful 🌸 I love to have that creative energy. I would love to colloborate with you too. I can understand you about the fact that you don’t wan to unfollow these people. I made a new account on Instagram as you know. I have three 😂 One personal, one only poetry and one based on my blog and thoughts. I didn’t want that all the people I know in real life could read that. I also made a lot of pictures and was really into photography. I have to pick it up again! I can’t wait to read all your awesome posts ❤ You are the best xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are so similar it’s unreal! Pressed flowers are beautiful indeed, it’s lovely that your Grandma did that too! I completely understand why you have 3 accounts and to be honest I don’t blame you – things like that are so precious & personal, we don’t want those people seeing! Thank you so much for your lovely words as always, you are an angel xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I had this talk with an Instagram friend today who asked me if I have any family members or friends following me.
    I think one of the great things about blogging and social-media, is the ability to have freedom. Freedom to express your words without judgement, without people in your lives editing their behaviour towards you, based on your writing.
    So to me, I would say unfollow. If anyone mentions it, just say that you felt conscious and wanted to keep your thoughts hidden from people you know. It’s your account and you shouldn’t feel bad or feel guilt.
    I’m glad you’ve had this creative energy burst and I look forward to seeing how it develops. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s very true and I guess I should be embracing it rather than letting it give me anxiety – I can edit and choose what people do and don’t see, right? Thank you for your words of wisdom as always! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I totally understand how you feel – I don’t write creatively for myself as much as I used to and I miss that. I still haven’t worked out how to create a good balance. I’m really excited to see your journal pages! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I completely understand what you write about losing your authenticity. I think it’s an amazing idea for you to go back to your beginnings and write whatever you’d like. To be honest with you, sometimes those messy last minute posts are so much better than the ones you’ve been writing with an agenda 😉 can’t wait to see that content!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I totally get what you wrote about not using your journal as often due to your blog. I had the same problem for a long long time and I really missed journaling. What I do now I use my two favourite expressive outlets for different purposes. I definitely have a line that I don’t want to cross when it comes to my personal life, so everything I can’t or don’t want to share on here, I’ll write in my journal. Additionally I will always go to my journal first if something is bothering me. My journal is the place where I just let it all out. If I feel like I can turn that into a post I will – just afterwards.

    I love that you’re trying to branch out more creatively, I am too! SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU COME UP WITH! xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think what I’m going to do now is make sure I go straight to my journal when I have a thought and try to pry myself away from my laptop haha, I really miss journaling like you say and even though I’m still doing it it’s definitely not the same, therefore I’m still missing it. Thank you so much lovely! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m so flipping excited to see all the creativity!! I literally got the biggest smile on my face reading this!!!!! I’m so excited and I can’t wait to see it all!!😊❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  10. OKAY I AM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR THIS! I cannot wait to see all your journal entries. I actually completely understand you; I used to doodle, draw comic and keep a diary before I started blogging and i really miss that tangible (and raw because, like you said, when you blog it has to be edited and refined) creative expression xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha thanks girly!! You always manage to say exactly what I’m thinking in literally one paragraph when somehow it takes me a whole post (probably because I like to ramble) xxx

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.