not so deep (chatty)

living a life of art

Hi loves,

Do any of you ever get to a point in life where you just sit there thinking…what now?

Lately I’ve been so bored of life – of everything in general. Everything is boring the hell out of me, society, social media, day to day life…I’ve been throwing myself into the arts more now than ever – reading, writing, drawing, painting, listening to music etc. I’ve literally just been closed off in my own little world reading and writing and drawing and painting for hours because everything else seems mundane in comparison – day to day life and the way people live, it’s just boring me. I’d rather live in my own little world instead and believe that everything is magical, which it is.

As much as I’m enjoying living in my own little bubble though, there’s still something missing. It’s like, I’m creating and creating and creating but there’s still something not quite right, like I’m waiting for something big to happen or some kind of end result, but there isn’t one. Does that make sense? It’s like I’m doing all of these things to fill time for this bigger thing that’s supposedly going to happen and obviously, there’s nothing there. I don’t know, maybe I’m rambling. I’m trying to create a life for myself that’s filled with art basically, in every form, but the things I’m doing right now only seem small in comparison to this bigger thing that it’s all leading up to, but I don’t know what that is exactly, and I don’t really know much else.

What does it all lead up to? What is all of this leading up to? If I knew, I could aid myself along a little – get a head start, help myself with the process, but I have no idea. I don’t know what this bigger, greater thing is and so for now I stick with my writing and my creating and all of the other little things that go with it, but I know it must amount to something bigger because these little creative things can’t just be it forever, right? There must be a bigger creative thing out there – a bigger thing that it all amounts to, and I believe it’s different for every person. I just don’t know what it is for me yet, but I wish I did because I can’t help but think there’s always something bigger and more creative that I could be doing. Instead of writing things in my journal or on my blog, where else could I be writing them? What else could I be doing with all these thoughts and feelings I have, where else could I be putting them? Get what I mean?

I don’t know, my head is a little jumbled right now but I wanted to say this and hopefully you’ll understand what I mean, I want to live a life of art which I am doing right now through shutting out reality and living in my own little artistic creative dreamworld, but I wish I knew what it all amounted to in the end. I wish I knew what it would count for – my mind can’t help but wonder.

All my love,

Chloe .xx

20 thoughts on “living a life of art

  1. I so understand you. Beautiful post as always 💕 I also love creating, writing and every form of art. I really want to make a living of it but I don’t know how. I’m sure we can find a way 💜 I also always want to know where it’s all going and wanna know that it makes me purposeful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I get where you are coming from. I feel this sense of void within me, and I can’t figure out exactly what it is or what I’m suppose to change or do. But sometimes these moments of trying to find, can lead to the biggest answers. So I’m hoping the void is really a new path to wonder – if that makes sense! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It makes perfect sense! We all have our little pathways and journeys and sometimes we can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, we have to stumble around a bit and find our way first. It’s all part of the learning process, I hope we’re both able to find what we’re looking for soon xxx


  3. I totally agree with this!! I have progressively getting more and more fed up with social media, like I scroll down facebook and it is just so boring and negative and I really want to start getting into new hobbies. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, social media is such a farce these days – I use it to spread awareness and educate myself more than anything else, the rest I’m just not interested in. I agree that it’s incredibly boring!! xxx


  4. I understand how you feel (I think). I felt a similar way last summer where I felt like my life didn’t really have much purpose – I had all these days to myself and get nothing I seemed to do mattered. It was only when I started working more and went back to University that I seemed to feel fulfilled again and like my life had purpose. Perhaps you need to do something similar i.e. find a job that you love or some sort of further education? xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!! Exactly!! Like, you have all this time and I just want to know if what I’m doing with it is the right thing, I don’t want to sit here endlessly wasting it or spending time on things that in the end will amount to nothing, but I guess that’s just part of the learning process. It’s how we grow, right? I think I need to do something in education maybe, some courses or something – I’m going to take a look. Thank you for reading! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They do summer courses at some colleges if you’re interested or of course there is online learning – I would recommend FutureLearn – it’s free and you do it online and you can then pay for a certificate at the end if you want. xx

        Liked by 1 person

  5. As always, you’ve articulated your thoughts perfectly. I have experienced a similar thing before, in particular with my blog and writing – there is so much purpose and meaning to be discovered through creativity, and the best we can do is understand that with time this will become more and more obvious. Thank you for sharing your words with us xox

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have felt what you’re feeling right now. It sucks. I am a very purpose-driven and goal-oriented person. If I don’t have either of those things I get bored pretty easily. I guess I just need to feel like I’m doing all of these things for a reason. Maybe you’re that type of person too?
    What helps me overcome those periods of boredom is setting small goals for myself, milestones or taking on some sort of new challenge (I once did an online class for example). Lovely post as always Chloe, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re missing xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is me 100%, I get bored SO easily. I’m someone who is constantly changing and on the move, I never stay the same person for very long which is something pretty much everyone I’ve ever encountered in my life finds difficult to handle, I’m consistent in who I am but I’m forever changing and get bored of everything so quickly because I constantly want something that’s going to push me and challenge me, I guess I’m just very ambitious and just like you I always want to feel that there’s a reason behind it, I don’t like the idea of wasting time with no idea what (if anything) it will count for. Thank you for your wonderful insight as always xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hey Chloe! I definitely relate to that feeling of a buildup of thoughts and feelings and creativity that you’ve expressed. I think one of the things that you can do with all that creativity and art to stop feeling like it’s not going anywhere is to talk about your work with people in real life and generally share more of ur creativity through different mediums and platforms. It will go somewhere someday. Thank u for sharing ur thoughts. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s such a great idea, I guess I never really talk about it in real life because it’s something personal to me and I feel if someone asked to see or read my work I’d be like… I think I’ll keep it to myself hahaha, I’m very shy when it comes to things like that! It’s a great starting point though and would definitely make it more real, talking about it couldn’t hurt. Thank you! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Nah girl, feel this in my soul. I do so much work, whether it’s creatively or even at university, and it feels like it’s leading up to something big, or I’m building up to this big thing coming up but I don’t know what, and sometimes I end up questioning why I’m doing anything in the first place. Usually I just read my horoscope for some easy good vibes I can interpret to suit my mood haha x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it’s all so confusing right ??? For me I just have to let the universe take its course and do its thing, but I can’t help wondering!! I guess I’m just too impatient haha – horoscopes are always a great shout though!! xx

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.