not so deep (chatty)

my top 10 blog posts of 2018

Hi loves,

Happy Christmas Eve !!

If you’ve been following me for a while you may remember that last year I made a post called my top 10 blog posts of 2017 and well, here’s the 2018 version.

I explained this in last year’s post but in order to avoid confusion, I’m going to be talking about my top 10 favourite blog posts that I myself have written (and posted) this year. I feel like every year my blog and my writing continue to grow in different ways and I thought it would be nice to have a little recap on the things I’ve written and the meanings behind them / why they’re my favourites.

So without further ado, here are my top 10 favourite blog posts of 2018.

sometimes I wish I didn’t feel so much

I’m putting this one first because this is by far my favourite post that I’ve written this year. It was so raw, I was having the gloomiest, saddest day and it’s like I just closed my eyes and let everything pour out onto the page and the end result happened to be something beautiful, even if I do say so myself. I’m very proud to be the owner of this piece and I’m very proud that I have the ability to write things like this because like I said, it’s like I just closed my eyes and when I opened them again this post had been born. It was like wow, I can’t believe I just did that. I love this piece very much and I would give it a big hug if I could, I feel like this was one of my most vulnerable moments and I’m very glad it’s down in words.

why long hair doesn’t equal beauty

I feel like the things I said in this post are things I’d always wanted to say in some way, shape or form but could never quite reach in my mind or never knew how to word, but then one day it just happened and this post was born. I remember coming away from it and feeling satisfied that I’d written what I like to call a full post where I said everything I wanted to, left no stone unturned and included lots of little bits and pieces to go in between. Super satisfying.

blond – a stream of consciousness

My second favourite post of the year after sometimes I wish I didn’t feel so much.
There are two things in life that have always been very prominent in the development of who I am as a person and the ways in which I’ve grown and changed, and that’s Lana Del Rey and Frank Ocean – more importantly, their albums – Born To Die, The Paradise Edition and channel orange.

I’d had these words inside of me for years but there was so much to say (this post is over 4000 words and definitely the longest I’ve written this year) that I could never quite grasp it all. There was too much to go into, too much time to cover, too many feelings and I was always worried I’d miss something out and so I never even tried, because there was simply just so much to say, I wasn’t even sure I could put it into words.

But I did.

One afternoon, I sat and wrote for 4 hours straight, I rambled and rambled and wrote until my fingers were on fire and suddenly, this post was born. I called it a stream of consciousness because that’s exactly what it is, I’m just talking…to myself, to the reader, to Frank, I don’t know. I’m just throwing words out there into the abyss and hoping they’ll reach somebody, even if that person is only myself. It was like there was no thought process in my mind, I was just writing, unloading everything that had been stored in my brain for all of these years and suddenly it was out. I don’t even think I came up for air. I barely remember anything about writing it because I literally just completely zoned out, tuned out of everything and it’s like my hands just began typing on their own, I wasn’t even thinking.

I really, really love this post and I can honestly sit here and say that I left no stone unturned and said absolutely everything I needed / wanted to, which is crazy. I’m so happy with the way it turned out.

new recording 3 (my 20th birthday)

I forgot this post existed until I was having a look through what I’d uploaded this year so that I was able to write this. I’d had this post in particular in my drafts for a while before I posted it because I’d done the actual recording maybe a year earlier, my 20th birthday arrived and I didn’t really know what to post because I felt like I didn’t really have much to say about it, and then I saw this post in my drafts and thought actually, that’s perfect. I have a lot of other transcripts I should probably post at some point, but this is definitely one of my favourites. You really do need to hear your own thoughts sometimes.

going to a concert alone

This is one of my favourite posts of 2018 because the reaction it received really sticks out in my mind. To me, this was just like any other post I’ve written where I talk about my feelings and how I’m dealing with them, but for some reason this post really took off and that’s why it’s on this list – when I think of my blog in 2018 this is one of the things that comes to mind, because I think it helped / resonated with a lot of people more than it did me, so I’m thankful for that.

the text message diaries – me, myself and i

This one is on the list because it’s a little mini series I started and I think I came up with a really creative way for myself to share certain things with people that I wasn’t really sure how to before. I have endless screenshots of conversations I’ve had with people and therefore moments that I’ve wanted to keep – I wanted to share them and have them somewhere permanent for me to always look back on and so the text message diaries were born, a little series that’s (hopefully) always going to be running on Midnight Wanderer, I think it’s a nice way to share something personal with you guys.

let’s talk kpop – a BTS guide for dummies

Now, you might be thinking, Chloe, why the hell is this on your top 10 posts of 2018 list. Well, long story short, 2018 was the year Kpop came into my life – if you’ve read any of my posts this year you’ll know that I’ve pretty much fallen in love with Kpop and therefore into a deep dark hole that I’m probably never going to get out of. I’ve spoken about my feelings towards it / what it’s done for me etc. in lots of other posts so I won’t go back into it again here but just know that Kpop may as well be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me because it’s absolutely brilliant and it’s brought me so much happiness I can’t even tell you. This was the first Kpop post I ever did on the blog and the first time I properly dove into speaking about it (minus a post I made before that where I told you all I’d fallen into this deep dark Kpop hole and wasn’t going to be getting out of it anytime soon). I was apprehensive about posting it because I know 95% of my followers either don’t like Kpop or have no idea what it is, so I didn’t know what the reception was going to be like but guess what? The world didn’t end and the sky didn’t cave in. It was all absolutely fine, thus encouraging me to continue talking about Kpop any chance I got and sparking ideas for a lot of new posts for the future (Kpop posts are my favourites to make) – watch out 2019…

the hate u give – white privilege

This was the post that inspired me to create the My Favourite Posts” section of my blog because once I’d written it, I didn’t want it to just become another post in a long line of uploads. This took me months to write and I worked so, so hard on it. I wrote it all out and continued adding more and more to it for months, I then got the people of colour in my life involved and I asked them to read it, review it, add to it, give me their opinions etc. and the response I received from them was so wonderful, which is when I knew I’d written something really special. This to me isn’t just a blog post, but a piece of…I don’t know. A piece of something important, very important and it was a project I worked on for months and something I got people involved in and I really, really valued their input and I don’t know, it was just amazing. I was so scared to post it but the response I got was so wonderful and I’m so grateful, I’m really happy that in the end I did press the upload button because now this is one of my favourites, it completely encourages me to continue to write more things along this scary line, because this topic isn’t about me and I never want to speak on other people’s behalf, I just want to use my voice in the right way. So thank you for this post and for receiving it so well, because I am ridiculously grateful.

you make mistakes too

I don’t know why this post has made it onto the list but it has. I think more than anything it’s the title and just the message in general, I feel like I’d copy and paste what I said here to a lot of people if I could. I don’t know, it was short but sweet and again, I feel like I said everything I needed to say. It’s always nice when that happens.

you are not your parents

And last but not least, you are not your parents. I was struggling to find a 10th post to add here but in the end I decided on this one. I had a lot of guilt writing this post because I never want my words to have negative connotations or give off the wrong impression, but this post was something I needed to write because I felt like I was at a point where I couldn’t breathe. The response I received was so supportive and again, I feel like I said everything I needed to – I even wrote at the end of the post that I’d created it for the purpose of reassuring myself – I just read the whole thing again and sure enough it was like a little comfort blanket wrapping around myself. Crazy how we ourselves know what we need before we even realise it.

And there we have it! My top 10 favourite blog posts that I’ve written in 2018. If you’ve ever read / liked / commented on any of these then I just want you to know how much I appreciate it because it means the world, I’m so grateful that people like my words enough to actually want to read them.

As it’s Christmas Eve I hope you all have the most wonderful day tomorrow and are surrounded by people that love and adore you because you all deserve it the most. ✨

All my love,

Chloe .xx

7 thoughts on “my top 10 blog posts of 2018

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