not so deep (chatty)

do we ever really know anyone?

Hi loves,

If you’re seeing all of these life questioning, philosophical posts that I seem to be uploading lately and thinking…is Chloe having a midlife crisis?


I’m just going with it. I have so many questions floating around my brain and what I wanted to talk about today is something that’s been really playing on my mind a lot lately, not because it makes me feel angry, sad, annoyed etc. I just…I don’t know. I don’t really know how it makes me feel, which I guess is the reason it’s been playing on my mind a lot. I don’t really know if this is something I can turn into a post (??) but I’m going to try anyway because I feel like I need to get this out of my system.

*What I’m going to be talking about today is specific, but it can be applied to basically the whole music industry – I’m sure you know what I mean*

Long story short, there’s been a scandal in Korea lately regarding certain Kpop idols and their disgusting actions of sexually exploiting women that have recently come to light. A lot of people, needless to say, were absolutely shocked and it seems that now one person has been exposed…an endless list of people are continuing to be named and shamed and people are wondering, will the list ever end?

Even though I’m going to be talking about Korea / Kpop today, this still applies to the music industry as a whole because, as we all know, there are a lot of revelations and awful things that come to light too often these days, so all of this applies to Western artists and their industry too.

Now, somebody I absolutely love and adore within Kpop (who I won’t name because I don’t want this post to be about them) was friends with one of these perpetrators and the thing that sparked the thing that was playing on my mind was the fact that I saw somebody ask the other day – did they know about this? The fact they were friends is making me uncomfortable…do you think there’s any connection?

Now, instantly my reaction was no – not in a million fucking years, however, of course I understand why the question was asked and I’m relieved that people are actually taking the time to ask such things instead of being blinded by their love, as such, for idols and therefore being in denial about anything that gets said about them – it’s good that people can take a step back from it and say actually – was there something going on here? Should we be looking into this?

Now, like I said, these two people were friends or more, acquaintances maybe. I say were because no one really knows timelines and of course, they were both idols within the industry and therefore when two idols interact with each other, it becomes public knowledge because instantly everyone’s talking about it – it’s one of those things that as a fan, you just know. However, they weren’t best friends and no one really knows for certain but I assume they maybe hung out a couple of times and caught up with each other on the off chance but other than that, nothing more happened. The events that took place with the perpetrators happened years ago and have only just come to light now, but during that period of time in between, I don’t believe these perpetrators were ever suspected – why would they be? Nothing had been said and they weren’t about to air their disgusting secrets to the world, so why would anyone suspect them?

I think the thing that’s playing on my mind is the fact that because of these people, we now have to question everyone’s intentions and integrity. Should we be concerned that the people who were friends with them or worked with them during that time are also of the same calibre? Even though they had no idea, should we still question whether they too would act out the same actions as the person they were friends with? Or worked with?

That’s what’s bugging me. The fact that disgusting people have to ruin everything for everyone else.

Like I said, I completely and utterly understand why the question is being asked and I am relieved and grateful for it, but it makes me so sad that literal angels are being doubted because well, if these loving, sweet and kind people managed to do those types of things behind closed doors – who’s to say anyone else is different? And it’s true. I get it. We don’t know these people, their image is a pure construction in order to appeal to people and make money, and it works. We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors or who they really are when the cameras are turned off.

I feel like now I’m just supposed to sit here questioning everyone’s integrity just in case and it sucks. It’s really playing on my mind because of the fact of the reality that someone questioned literally the purest, kindest and most beautiful soul due to the fact that at one point they happened to be friends with one of these perpetrators – if I lived next door to a murderer my whole life and had no idea but one day it was revealed to the world, does that then automatically make me guilty too just because I knew them? Just because I saw them everyday and lived in the house next door? No. But it makes you question it anyway because if someone so famous with such a perfect, clean cut image is able to do these disgusting things and have people none the wiser, anyone can.

So it makes people start doubting and it makes them worry. This person was so uncomfortable to a point where they had to ask fellow fans hang on a second, can we talk about this? I don’t know how to feel.

It makes me so sad, for everybody involved – for artists and for fans, that we have to go through this thought process now every time – we’re forced to question the people we love and good people have to be doubted for no reason due to something that’s beyond their control. It’s a God awful shame that things get ruined because of these monsters – we shouldn’t have to be doubting people but we are because really, who can you trust? You love these artists and you know they’re inherently good people, but can you prove that, really? You don’t know them personally and never will, so how can you ever be sure something isn’t going to turn up in the news tomorrow?

But I don’t wanna live my life like that, thinking should I get a tattoo for this artist, just in case? Should I put their song lyrics in my bio in case something gets revealed? Should I buy tickets to their concert because what if there’s breaking news tomorrow and actually, I find out they’re not who I thought they were?

I know that the artists I look up to are the most wonderful, amazing people with hearts of gold and would never do anything of the sort. Can I prove that? No. Can we prove that about anyone? No. But I know. I’d bet my life on it. I know they’re good. I know they would never. I don’t need to sit around worrying about the fact that all of these people could be exposed at any point because if that’s the way you look at it then it’s the same for every single person in the world. Who’s to say your boss at work isn’t going to make front page news tomorrow for having murdered his family 10 years ago? Or your best friend? Or even a family member? You know these people would never do such things but can you prove it? No. Hell, we can’t even prove it about ourselves, because what are we to say other than no, that’s not me?

You have to take people for their word and who you know them to be, if you’ve been fooled into a false sense of security and therefore into thinking this person is someone they’re not, that is not your fault. I’m not going to let these disgusting people ruin music for me and I’m not going to let them make me start doubting the people I love either, so fuck you. It just really broke my heart that a fan of this particular idol was like wait, they used to be friends with one of the perpetrators…does that mean they knew? Does that make them guilty too?

Even though I haven’t mentioned any names, I know that this person had no idea and would never, ever have had anything to do with it or done anything of the sort. Ever. Can I prove it? No. Do I know it for a fact? No. But I know. There are fucking good people in this world and this person was one of them, there are so many amazing people in music and the industry but because of these disgusting monsters that happened to take the same career path, everyone gets tarnished with the same brush.

I think I just wanted to write this post to say, to my artists, I don’t doubt you. I never will. There are some things you just know in life and the fact that you’re a good person is one of them. It doesn’t make me a bad person if I do doubt you, because if it was the other way around you might doubt me too, but still, I’d bet my life on saying you’re pure and good. I know you are.

I just needed to get this out into the world because it was playing on my mind and the reality of it was making me sad, because it’s such an awful shame. However, it’s not about to stop me from continuing to support and enjoy the artists I love. Like I said, I’m not about to live my life like that. I’m not going to let these people ruin it for me, for us. We deserve better, all of the fans and everyone affected deserves so much fucking better, and we deserve to be happy, so we will.

Kpop is still taking over the world, one step at a time, and I will still continue to love and support the amazing people that contribute to it until I’m given a reason not to.

All my love,

Chloe .xx

10 thoughts on “do we ever really know anyone?

  1. I feel a very similar way about YouTubers, especially vloggers. Because they seemingly vlog their daily life, it is very easy to think that you know them very well but the truth is that we only see what they want us to see. We do not honestly know these people like we know our friends and family. The only people we can really know are ourselves and even then, we often discover new things about ourselves like a talent we never knew we had. People are very complex creatures and I think sometimes it is easy to forget that. Thank you for sharing as always. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true! Everything is always a constructed image and sometimes we may only believe what we choose to anyway, so it’s very hard to convincingly say that we know people because actually, at the end of the day, we don’t. Thank you for sharing your insight! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a powerful thing, the way we connect to artists and their music, the connection between artist and audience. There will always be some distance, because how can we truly know what’s their image and what’s the truth? But for me, it’s all about the music. I feel connected because of the music, especially if it was written directly by the artists. I trust because of the music. Music tells a story, can help you get to know a person. This was such a unique post in terms of topic and it was beautifully written. The thing is, comparing your words, your blog, to a song or album of an artist, I just know that you are a wonderful, kind person. I know it. Because you wrote these words. And they shine with honesty and goodness.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true, I too trust because of the music – it’s a connection you can’t really describe – you just feel it. Thank you so much, I’m really glad you liked this and thank you for saying such lovely things. I feel exactly the same way about you .xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a beautiful and well written post. So firstly thank you for sharing honey. Its heartbreaking to hear about what happened​ because you want to believe that they didn​​t know, but if they did, then I am not sure if that makes them just as bad. I hope something good happens today! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This was such a good and beautiful post 💗 I can understand you so much. Music is life and you are right that we can’t prove if they are a good person but deep down in our hearts we know it’s all right. There are also bad people out there also in the music industry. I love so many artists and famous people that I would be sad if something bad comes up in the news about them. The thing is also not everything on the news is true as there’s a lot of fake news. I agree with you on just loving our artists, keep going to concerts and don’t let us make doubt them because of bad people.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you angel 💞 Also very true! There’s a lot of fake news these days and you have to be careful about what you buy into. I hope we can all rise above the negativity and these awful people and continue to embrace the things we love, we can’t give them the power to ruin it for us xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This topic is something I think about all the time. I look up to so many artists and actors and public figures, but randomly, every now and then, I see something on the news about a famous person who has committed an atrocious act and I wonder to myself, “do any of the people I look up to do things like this?” I tell myself “no, they do not” because I believe in them. You are right, I do not know these people, yet through their music, their movies and their public personas they have come to inspire me and, with regards to certain famous people, even keep me alive and waking up every day.

    These scandals happen, and unfortunately they happen way too often. It is a scary thought that someone so beloved is secretly an abuser, or murderer, or eats pineapple on their pizza, or whatever, but there is nothing we as fans can do but believe in them. I have definitely lost respect for some public figures I once admired because their bad deeds came to light, but that is not on us. We can not be blamed for liking them, and neither can these public figures’ friends or family.

    I remember sitting in the car with my brother one day and he was telling me about his friends. he then got to one friend and said, “he actually reminds me a lot of you, Kojo, because he does not have a single bad bone in his body.” This made me smile, because it made me feel like other people see me as a genuinely good person, but later that night I was standing outside in the backyard and thinking, “Do I really not have a single bad bone in my body?” It is something I still think about to this day.

    We can not let certain people ruin others for us. Otherwise, we would literally never learn to trust anyone, and this is certainly no way to live. I read your recent post about how you felt so emotional recently (I hope you are doing okay). First, I am happy you stopped the car to cry. As I was reading it I was scared because you were talking about how you could not see properly, so I am very glad you took a break. Secondly, I may not know you personally, but I want to say that you are most definitely a good person. You are a great person. Can I prove it? No, but I believe that you are, and in the end that is all we need. I hope this made some sort of sense xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “We can not let certain people ruin others for us. Otherwise, we would literally never learn to trust anyone” yes !! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say. The whole thing just makes me so angry, that people so disgusting exist in the first place and therefore ruin positive things for everyone else, but we must rise above it. What a lovely thing for your brother to say to you !! He’s very right. I too don’t believe you have a single bad bone in your body, and I also don’t believe I have to know you as well as your brother does in order to say that.

      You’re so wonderful as always and thank you for asking if I’m okay, yes I am 💞 I feel like that post turned into something beautiful which is always nice when you’re able to turn a negative into a positive. Your words are always so appreciated and I love hearing your thoughts on things so thank you so much for sharing them. Sending so much light your way ✨xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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