tulsa jesus freak

it’s 10pm. summer. kind of . i’m lying here in the dark listening to lana . the noise of a fan whirrs in the background, cool air falls over me and my hair moves in the breeze as it oscillates. i’m wearing an oversized t-shirt, there’s bruises on my legs from i don’t know where . not sure where i got them but they keep appearing out of nowhere . my friends say it’s cause i don’t eat enough so i bruise easily, that and i’m most probably anaemic. maybe a combination of both . i’m sleepy but can’t fall asleep . i’m feeling dreamy . lying here in my own nostalgic lana dream . tulsa jesus freak is currently playing and i feel like i’m in a movie as the cool air falls over me and flutters through the material of my shirt as i lie here with my eyes slowly closing . can i make you laugh with a smile? when you chose me i was nothing but ordinary, and now the wind’s reminding you of what you know. i got up to read sylvia plath but lay down again because i’m too sleepy to focus right now, i’m thinking of her though. always thinking and wondering and right now i’m thinking about myself and how nice this feels and how nice i feel, maybe i am the girl of my own dreams. the girl of your dreams and the girl of my own. what a nice thing to be. i wouldn’t want to be anyone or anywhere else.