deep

mental break

Hi my loves,

As you all know I struggle with mental health quite a fair bit and well, lately it’s been absolutely debilitating for me. I can’t function and I’m scared and fragile and I’m not in control of my head or my thoughts and I don’t know what’s happening to me and I feel very alone. Having a lot of anxiety attacks, feeling very out of control, very scared and very vulnerable. I’ve been referred for intensive therapy and will soon hopefully be medicated – currently self medicating which I shouldn’t be but I’m a mess right now and very much all over the place. I can’t even string a sentence together without struggling. Emotionally I’m in so much pain, like there’s someone or something constantly screaming inside my head. I feel very mentally ill and I’m not coping and I’m scared, but I’m also not in any danger of hurting myself so please don’t be worried about that. I want to live and look forward to the future but my brain and my thoughts just aren’t on my side right now unfortunately, so that’s what I’m currently working on. There’s a lot of things I haven’t healed from and I’ve been poorly for a very long time and it’s sad that it’s had to come to this point in order for me to try to do something about it because I feel so ashamed and like no one will take me seriously, because in past experiences no one ever has. Things are different now though and I have such a huge and wonderful support network around me, it makes me emotional to even think about how much love and support I’m being surrounded with right now. In terms of writing, I’m not going anywhere, I just thought I’d share what’s going on right now in case anyone wonders why I’m being quiet – it’s because there’s a war in my mind and right now I’m not winning. Working on it though, I’ll be in touch soon when I have something more to say that isn’t this. I hope you’re all well and if you ever need me, you know where I am – you are not alone.

All my love,

Chloe .xx

15 thoughts on “mental break

  1. As this is my first time to your blog we’re complete strangers but I still respect you a lot and you’re very strong to share your thoughts like this, although you’re going through that much you want to comfort others with your words and that’s the shine of you. Don’t worry, you’ll find a way out of it with time and things will definitely get better. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love you so much and I really wish you wouldn’t suffer 🥺❤. You are the kindest, most lovely, caring person ever. I hope intense therapy will help you. Medication helps too, at least it helps me so much. I also did self medication and it ain’t good but sometimes it’s the best thing we can do. There is no wrong or right way. You will feel better. It takes time. One step at a time even if it is a babystep. I miss writing letters to you. Whenever you feel ready I will be here. I love you love you love you 💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much my angel, I’m glad your medication is helping you, I hope it helps me just as much. Love you lots and lots 💞 your support means the world to me, thank you for always being here xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so so proud of you for reaching out for proper help! That takes so much courage and strength. I know what it feels like to have your mind spinning and spinning like a hamster wheel, not going anywhere but in circles. I wish I could help. Please know you’re not alone. Rest in the love you know is surrounding you. Sink into it like a nest, a haven, a safe place you can relax. Love makes all the difference, and you are loved! XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much my lovely friend 💞 it means such a lot and I am truly so grateful, it means the world and I’m overwhelmed by the support I’ve received so far. Sending so much love to you xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautiful and breathtaking that sky is? 😌😍

    I’m sorry that you are struggling with your mental health and I hope that you have more good days than bad days. I know how debilitating depression/anxiety/self-harming can be and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I wish you all the best with the intensive therapy. I’m not sure what that entails but the name alone sounds pretty intense. Take as long as you need to decompress. 🧘‍♀️ Have a cup of coffee, or two, or three.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Such a beautiful photo right! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it truly means the world that you’d take the time out of your day to offer your words to me. I hope you’re well – sending you lots of love and light xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I could be better, not gonna lie 🙇‍♀️ I enjoy reading your blog posts and care about you. I find that your content is very relatable and don’t want to see you struggling with mental health. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things 😇

        Liked by 1 person

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