I am so sad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m falling apart. I just want to listen to Taylor’s Red album and cry. Or the Unbroken album. I feel like I’m 18 and sad again. I don’t know what’s happening. It feels like a little depression cloud is making its way to hanging over my head and slowly but surely it’s seeping into my bones and I get a little sadder every day. [redacted]. I can’t continue on like this. This is real. Coming to the realisation that I am an adult with mental illness and that’s scary. This isn’t just “teenage depression” anymore, or more so, it can’t be blamed on that. It’s real and it’s scary. I feel like a man woman. Lord knows that’s how I fear I’ll end up. A man woman locked in a tower. Sometimes I can’t see this ending any other way.
“Or perhaps it was simply that things were happening inside her, terrible things, which no one else could even guess at, and thus it was impossible for her to engage with everyday life at the same time.”